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kini   in reply to taintedsoull   on

Also with children our gorverment has very strict rights for children they dont allow people to do that,we do get child social grant but its not enough cause right now we use to pay rent and it dont even cover the whole amount
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taintedsoull   in reply to kini   on

Oh yes, thats a shame about cd count, BUT what about the children issue. Food banks, crisis ministries, churches, everything is just slightly easier when you are with child. Also, ever think about obtaining a pan handlers license? Get one and find a corner (safe as possible) to hold a sign. If you take the kids with you it may increase your chances of making good money by "begging". It sounds beneath most.people, but desperate times mean desperate measures.
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SisterServant   in reply to tres   on

31 Things To Do Before You Commit Suicide

Dear tres,

Yes, thank you. My day is going well.

You are such an inspiration! A fighter, an example for those who wish to throw in the towel if they have the courage to look.

Praying every day is a key to wellness. All that we experience in our modern life has been experienced before. (Maybe they did not call it anxiety or depression...but) The Holy scriptures are full of examples.

I am so happy that you are able to pray for the evil member of your family. When there is a situation of that type, divine intervention is what we must count upon, so turning the situation over to God is best. God works miracles and if we pray long enough, we will see the results.

Thank you so much for your prayers. They mean more than I can say here.
God bless you for coming back and sharing. I pray for you too.
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kini   in reply to taintedsoull   on

Yes u are right but our gorvement only assist someone if the CD4 count its very low and mine at this stage its good so i dont want find my self sick thank u very much
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taintedsoull   in reply to gonesoon   on

31 Things To Do Before You Commit Suicide

Glad to hear you are making moves. The last thing on your list of 31 ttdbyd should most definitely be 31.) TO LIVE
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taintedsoull  

survivors, rape, survival, strength: I guess it is easier for me to not care about certain things as I have

I guess it is easier for me to not care about certain things as I have started over so many times. Just when I think things cannot get any worse, I remember the day i was raped and ran away for help with only the soiled clothes on my body and two cats in tow. That was a bad, bad, day. If I made it thru that, I can makeit thru ANYTHING!
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fatty watty  

fatty watty

Favorite food shrimp
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taintedsoull   in reply to kini   on

There are government assistance places for ppl just like you!! Stay strong and eat right and keep on meds for HIV. Just reading your post gave me another boost because simple fact that you are livi.g with HIV, LIVING, LIVING, LIVING and keep livin it up!! Then you throw in the 2 kids, i have a feeling the hard times may not be over but you got the guts to make it!!
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taintedsoull  

honesty, suicidal persons, get help: Yes, everyday I think about death and how I would die but it is the fear

Yes, everyday I think about death and how I would die but it is the fear of the.unknown after life that scares me. It is very hard to take people who express their desires.for death seriously due to most of the time it being a ploy for attention. But really, GIVE THEM ATTENTION, or a smile, or a few friendly words but doing the same thing over and over again expecting.things to change really is no way to live, so there is only so much kind words I have to say to suicidal persons. I have "Honest" tattooed on my chest, and cannot be anything else.but that!!
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taintedsoull  

assistance, fast food, iphones, food: I am super pissed by people complaining they don't or can't. I see the

I am super pissed by people complaining they don't or can't. I see the peoole go into these emergency charities asking for help with a light bill. Yet they have the newest apple iphone and sipping soda from an mcd cup. Im glad they did not give that person help because she could have sold her iphone for a few hundred and certainly you should NOT be eating fast food. I have not been to mcd in so long, I HOPE I NEVER.CRAVE THEM WHEN IM BACK ON MY FEET because they really werent that good to begin with.
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Scindy97   in reply to julalimasmommy   on

About Scindy97

From my one & only experience within this website. You just post a request and wait for a reply from someone.
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taintedsoull   in reply to gonesoon   on

31 Things To Do Before You Commit Suicide

Please admit yourself to the hospital. And also, stop playing the pity card. I have the same exact fears you do, afraid im going to break my legs when i walk down stairs. Been on ALL those shitty meds and now after 8 months of not taking.all those crazy drugs that doctors have shoved.in my throat for my entire 29 years of living. And, reallyman, did I ever say anything about "God loves you"?? No, but, seriously, GET SOME HELP. If you have the motivation to complain and be online all the time you have the ability to read the plethora of advice online and can actually help yourself better than any doc would or could. And as far as what you should do.. STOP ASKING WHY ME AND ASK WHY NOT ME. Just my opinion, and you know what they say about opinions.
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mamajmorgan  

mamajmorgan

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gonesoon   in reply to taintedsoull   on

31 Things To Do Before You Commit Suicide

The topic is 31 Thing to do before you commit suicide. The substance of the list is rubbish. I leave my house for less than an hour every 2 weeks and fear everything (for 7 months now) and am planning suicide. Give me a break on the 31 To Do list. Oh and then read the associated blogs and again what I say was God Loves You. If he loved me I would not be suffering so much and for so long. Oh and meds and psychiatrists, I have no money and no health care. Also, I have in my life done the meds. The last round a year ago lasted for over six months 2 different antidepressant. Horrible side effect. Literally all I thought of was suicide, but the doctor kept saying give it time. From Prozac (15 weeks of headaches, loss of libido, hopelessness) to Welbutrin (10 weeks of panic attacks, nightmares and helplessness). The bad part is that some of the side effect are still with me after months away from them. I am 55 and in my life if have be treaded with everything from lithium to prolixin and have of late done my research. I am not saying they don't work, but at what cost. And what are the percentages that are help. Remember the drug companies create the stats. In my questioning people who are in the mental health field, the long term recovery of chronic or major depression is less than 15 percent. Yet it's all in the meds (or mostly). I would now say it's all in the kindness and caring (which I have never gotten). Where is that kindness and caring go to in the world. I sure don't have any of it. Even though I have cared and shared and loved in my everyday life only to be bullied and taken advantage of most of my life. With strength I have managed to stay alive this long, but now when I look around this world all I see is selfishness, greed, voyeurism and sociopathic behavior. What can we do? What can we do? I am at the end. I look at the picture I just took and I don't even see myself anymore. What can we do? What can I do?
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Ralphie  

Ralphie

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kini  

Im a 48yr old woman living with hiv for the past 10yrs im married with 2children i have adopted . Im a born again christian for past 5monthsu family have beem struggling financial,and now recently i have lost my stepson ,and we no longer have money to pay rent and food cause my husbanf his not working anymore we are really struggling .
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gonesoon   in reply to Ian80   on

31 Things To Do Before You Commit Suicide

Crisis line sent me info on a peer group in my area. It will be hard for me to get there, but that is something concrete. Not this dribble. I wonder if that is what awaits me at the peer group. I hope we can talk about the hard things and not have someone give me the "31 TTDBYCS" or "Remember God Loves You".
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tres   in reply to SisterServant   on

31 Things To Do Before You Commit Suicide

Sister, I hope your day is going well..I spoke with my psychiatrist this morning, I also got a prescription for meds. She commented that I look well. I might look well, but I do deal daily with anxiety and depression.. I pray every day and cope with it as best as I can. I read the bible almost daily, it tells never to wish ill-will on anyone. So I pray for the evil member of my family...Hopefully Jesus looks down on him and makes him realize the terror he causes us. I pray for you.
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ugoteacher  

ugoteacher

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kittypie2973   in reply to Willie60   on

HELP PAYING BILLS/RENT/MEDICAL/UTILITIES/FOOD/DIAPERS AND MORE

Hi there and thanks for the input. I have tried the governmental links. I even tried social services. In order for me to get rental assistance I have to do a 12 week work program just to apply. And thatndoesnt even mean I will get it. By that time it will be too late and we will be homeless. My eviction court date is Oct 2nd. I am trying all the surrounding churches in the tried county area to see if anyone will help us. Thanks again a d its nice to have some input. God Bless you too. ;)
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